In 5 Years’ Time

60 months. 262 weeks. 1,821 days. 43,701 hours. Has it actually been five years since I last saw you, since you passed? I can’t really begin to comprehend that, honestly. Half the time, I can convince myself it feels like just yesterday but to be candid, it feels like it’s been a decade. You missed…

Rewrite The Written

They say I have your words your state of mind and your empathetic demeanor. They say I carry you and your heart alongside mine and your pen in my hand. Am I your walking ghost? Am I a disarrayed collection of all you were, masked behind all your features and my own green eyes? I…

I Met Evil When I Was Only A Child

I met evil when I was only a child. It stepped onto my doorstep in late February. Evil drove as we spent consecutive hours, days, weeks, months in hospital beds and folding chairs the scent of the linoleum floor and sterilized air permanently perfumed our skin and stained our memories. Evil watched as the nurses…

You’re Going To Live Forever In Me

1,461 nights ago, your heart stopped in your chest and starting beating alongside mine. Your soul left your body and ours joined seamlessly though I am not entirely sure our souls were ever separate to begin with. We are made of the same stars the same flowing ink on pages of never written novels the…

Saudade

4 years ago today I was told you wouldn’t make it. 4 years ago today I didn’t think I would either.

Remember

“Remember this.” my mind muttered to me “Remember how it feels to lay next to her, to feel her beating heart and her gentle┬ábreath against your skin.” “Remember how it feels to be comforted simply by her presence, by knowing she’s right beside you.” “Remember feeling whole, complete.” I tried and I tried to hold…

Fading Flashbacks

There are days, weeks even that I swear I am okay. All is okay until I hear a laugh that sounds vaguely like yours or see a sweater in a store that you would have adored. Everything collapses in those moments. I feel my stomach drop onto the pavement or the sterilized linoleum. Each of…

Cancerous Hope

If cancer strikes and I’m writing my poems give me a chance to publish them. If cancer strikes and I’m flying to London give me time to land and to live. If cancer strikes and I’m laying down, almost gone, let me tell my mother I’m coming. If cancer strikes] and I’m sitting with my…