Sisters

Leaving you two will be the hardest thing I’ve done in years. You both bring out the best in me. My truest, most honest self is only ever in its raw form around you two, and I thank you for that. You’ve allowed me to dive in and get to know myself. You’ve let me…

*You’re

I almost wish we’d never met. You stole six months from me, only half of which filled with naive apprehension and adoration. Even then, can the feeling of unknowingness ever truly be happy? Safe? Okay? I found myself drowning in the anxiety of question marks coating my skin, even then. The remaining three months were…

Illusionary Hopes

I need to let go of the illusion that it could have been any different. Any of it, really. I couldn’t have saved her. Cancer isn’t something you can just hope away. No matter what I did, nothing could’ve changed the terminal diagnosis hanging over her head. Not three thousand glasses of lemon water, not…

Scintilla

And the worst part is, it was never even fully real to begin with. Was it? It was a rendezvous between a rantipole and a flight risk and regardless of how careful you are, combinations of that sort never end well. Do they? Destined to collapse into oceans you once flew over together or burn…

I Learned A Lot About Being A Friend When I Was Alone

I learned a lot about being a friend when I was alone. Crowded rooms are consistently the most complicated and lonely places to find oneself. Standing alone while clusters of your former friends close themselves off to you is more painful than comprehensible. You lose basic knowledge of how to stand comfortably, of what to…

Exodus

While I do find beauty in metaphors, I think there’s something terrifyingly fascinating about being straightforward. Here, let me explain. In a metaphorical sense, these past four years have been to me as Apollo was to Daphne, as streptococcus pneumoniae is to the human body, as a chrysalis is to a caterpillar.   To be…

I Met Evil When I Was Only A Child

I met evil when I was only a child. It stepped onto my doorstep in late February. Evil drove as we spent consecutive hours, days, weeks, months in hospital beds and folding chairs the scent of the linoleum floor and sterilized air permanently perfumed our skin and stained our memories. Evil watched as the nurses…

Four Years, 224 Posts, And 57,288 Words Later

Here we are. It’s been four years since this little blog came into being. Four entire years of poetry, prose, short stories, and everything my mind could muster in between. You can find stolen glances of arguably the most significant years of my life on here, little intimate views into my candid mind, an open diary….

You’re Going To Live Forever In Me

1,461 nights ago, your heart stopped in your chest and starting beating alongside mine. Your soul left your body and ours joined seamlessly though I am not entirely sure our souls were ever separate to begin with. We are made of the same stars the same flowing ink on pages of never written novels the…

Remember

“Remember this.” my mind muttered to me “Remember how it feels to lay next to her, to feel her beating heart and her gentle breath against your skin.” “Remember how it feels to be comforted simply by her presence, by knowing she’s right beside you.” “Remember feeling whole, complete.” I tried and I tried to hold…