*You’re

I almost wish we’d never met. You stole six months from me, only half of which filled with naive apprehension and adoration. Even then, can the feeling of unknowingness ever truly be happy? Safe? Okay? I found myself drowning in the anxiety of question marks coating my skin, even then. The remaining three months were…

Exodus

While I do find beauty in metaphors, I think there’s something terrifyingly fascinating about being straightforward. Here, let me explain. In a metaphorical sense, these past four years have been to me as Apollo was to Daphne, as streptococcus pneumoniae is to the human body, as a chrysalis is to a caterpillar.   To be…

Saudade

4 years ago today I was told you wouldn’t make it. 4 years ago today I didn’t think I would either.

Fading Flashbacks

There are days, weeks even that I swear I am okay. All is okay until I hear a laugh that sounds vaguely like yours or see a sweater in a store that you would have adored. Everything collapses in those moments. I feel my stomach drop onto the pavement or the sterilized linoleum. Each of…

Mother’s Day

It’s your day, Mom.  I remember our last Mother’s Day. I put together a beautiful little fruit plate in the shape of a flower with a caramel candy (your favorite) in the center. You laughed when you saw it when I walked in your room with the blue hand-painted-breakfast-in-bed table. Your ear to ear grin…

Moon//Stars//Sun

We used to be like the stars and the moon; constantly together, always to be found in one another’s arms. You shone delicately as you rose each evening into the inky night sky and I followed. I looked so tiny, so minuscule compared to you, but you assured me otherwise. You were there for me…

Rain

br /> Grieving and loss is like rain; the way it feels, pouring down onto your skin.   You aren’t prepared for this kind of storm; even if you have an umbrella or raingear. Nothing can protect you from what is to come. As you walk your way to your door, umbrella held high, the…

2039

The year is 2039 and I still miss you the same. I am now 40 and it has been 26 years without you. They say things will be better but I am drowning in pain.   The year is 2039 and things haven’t changed. All I want is to see you again yet I must…

Thank You, 8th Grade.

8th grade has probably been one of the most eventful years in middle school for me (and right behind it would be 6th grade, consisting of my mom’s re-diagnoses and homeschooling). I have met so many amazing people this year and have seen new sides of life I had never thought about before. This year…

8th Grade Ending

Middle school is coming to a close for me. In just 13 days, I will never attend another middle school. As hard as these past few years have been, and as much as I have wanted to leave them behind, I can’t help but miss some of the memories already. I have had some amazing…