TOBY

She is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, just… damn. There’s not a word for her. She’s just her. She’s just Eleanor Alexis Paylor. She doesn’t need to be any more than that.

She tells me she lives with “liberosis”, the desire to care less about things. I respect that she feels that way, but I just can’t comprehend it. Every time I am with her, I can’t help but find myself wanting to care, to understand more. And I do. Every time.

I told her I live with “onism”, the frustration of being stuck within one body which only inhabits one place at a time. I remember her laugh after I said that. It was under her breath. So gentle and intriguing, so loving and intoxicating. Her laughter is a bit addicting. I spend every moment we are together attempting to see her pure, genuine smile and every moment over the phone I spend aching for her laughter. Gah. She is just a work of art.