As it is the New Year, I figured it to be rather fitting I decide upon my final resolutions and share them with you lovely, beautiful people.
I m guilty of not always posting consistently, and for that, I apologize to you nd to myself. Writing quite literally heals me, as it allows me to rid my body of toxins or things clouding my mind. By avoid the paper and pen, all I have been doin is harm to myself. In 2016 that shall change.
Be honest with myself and those around me.
I have lied. I have lied to myself and to those I love. I have said I am okay when I am truly far from that. I have said I have plans rather than simply saying I’d rather be alone. It isn’t okay. People deserve the truth and that’s the least I can give.
Become a better daughter and sister.
No, I have not been one of those “Toddlers In Tiaras” but I have been difficult. I have protective, stubborn, and independent. There have been times when I haven’t been able to see past my blurred visions.
I have experienced a great deal of loss in my life, many different varieties. It is one thing I struggle to cope with. Whether it is a death of a loved on or unrequited love, it hurts. It can get to me to the extent where I don’t move or interact with people for days, weeks. I’ll end up ignoring those dear to me and treating them awfully without being aware of it. This is something I must fix.
It is the one main way I can think of to use my difficulties in my life in a positive way. I want to be the person I always wanted but never had. I want you to know you are not alone; you never are. I promise. If you ever doubt those words, send me a message. I will reply within a few hours. I promise everything ends up okay.
I want to be inspired, to be touched, to be moved. I want to be so impacted by something it causes me to travel halfway across the world or inspires me to tart a novel. I want to feel that spark ignite and I want to watch as the flame grows.
This is something I have been working on throughout my entire life and I have found a quote that embodies all of what I strive for. “To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” -Taylor Swift