Freedom in Chaos

“I know storms end in peace and rain showers create rainbows. I know diamonds are formed from the hardest, most seemingly worthless coal and wisdom comes from pain. I know there is beauty in the aftermath but when you tell me to look forward and push for that magnificent ending, you are telling me I can’t find beauty in chaos.

I embrace this turning world and embrace the disaster. I breathe air into my polluted lungs and exhale hurricanes. The sidewalks crumble beneath my feet as a dance along the pavement. I turn my loved ones deaths into a song the crickets hum along with me every night and the birds every morning. I take my fears and wear them around my neck because I once read if you face what frightens you every day, it will wear out. I cloth myself in sadness woven socks and adrenaline sewn sleeves. The rain decorates my skin as I sit in the thunder, glistening.

I don’t have to push through to get to where you say all wish to be. I live in this chaotic, beautiful world and I cherish every moment of it. I memorize every bruise and miss each heartbeat. I have a scrapbook of my travels through this disaster and it is more magnificent than you’ll ever know.

Don’t you dare for a minute tell me one cannot find happiness or joy in the storm; the storm is where I am free.”

-My thoughts in response to “You’ll be happy one day, it’ll be beautiful.”

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