Formally Estatic

Tonight is the night I have been dreaming of ever since I was a mere little 3rd grader. I have always imagined what my dress would look like, which of my friends my friends would be going, how my hair would be styled, what music would be playing, and the pure enchanting essence of formal itself. This is the night of my 8th grade formal.

I have had the most amazing time preparing for tonight, as in shopping for my dress, shoes, etc. But I have had an even more amazing time with my friends. Not only have we all done everything together, but we have become even closer than any of us even realized was possible. And this whole year, I have been living my little elementary dream. All I wanted was to go dress shopping with Gretchen, get ready with her, and go to formal with her. I have done all those, and I have attended the same school of my lovely redheaded BFFOAT.

As silly as it is, I am tearing up right now, as I am typing this. I would sit on the blankets with my mom on her seemingly gigantic, compared to my teeny 10 year old body. We would go on and on about what color my dress would be, what kind of shoes I’d wear, how my hair would be done, and everything imaginable. We would go onto dress websites and search for dresses for fun, even. What absolutely wrecks me though, is the fact that she won’t be here to see me go off to formal. She never even saw my dress. She has no idea of anything that I am wearing. She will never see me go off to formal, or even prom. She’ll never meet my first boyfriend, or my last. She just won’t. She can’t. Tonight is not only a night that I will be remembering all of the wonderful memories from this year, but also all of my memories with my Ma, who I know will be watching down, and dancing right next to me.

Although I may not have my Mama right next to me as I apply my mascara, I will have my beautiful Aunt Caroline, my mother’s sister. She has always been there for me and I know she accepts me for who I am, spastic clutz and all. My Aunt is coming down from Virginia t help me prepare for the night I’ve dreamed about since I knew it existed, and I couldn’t be more thankful for such a loving family, like her.

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